On self esteem:

Lately I’ve been feeling some very low self esteem. Maybe I’m not getting enough sleep or maybe I’m drinking too much caffeine which is making me sensitive but it’s very apparent that something in my life needs to change. 

This is an emotion I’m pretty familiar with. I’m average looking and at least twice a week my weight will fluctuate and it turns my world completely upside down. The self esteem issues don’t just come down to my appearance, however they seem to center more around my whole life in general. Last week one of my closest friends graduated from college as an accounting major and while I am so floored that he had the ability to do so and is starting his life out in the real world, it has made me feel jealous and insecure about my life plan. I don’t have one at the moment and I’ve been in school for 3 years now.in fact, I’m still trying to figure out how to pay my tuition for last semester.

Why does it feel like everyone around you has their life figured out? There are people who do yoga every morning, are working on 2 masters degrees, eat vegan and still manage to do their hair every morning. I can barely remember to wash mine much less wake up early enough to throw in a yoga class. Lately it feels crippling trying to figure out where my life is going. I feel lost and down about myself because I have no plan. 

Money has been a huge part of this as well. I want nothing more than to go on a date night with my husband or buy a new swimsuit for my vacation next month but I feel as though every penny not spent on bills is a huge waste. In reality it probably is but I also want to go out and have a little fun every once in awhile. Not to mention that I absolutely love Christmas shopping for other people and if I had the money I would buy everyone I love their own private island. Alas, I make a baristas wage which is no where close to owning private island timeshares. 

All of these things combined make me feel as though I am not enough. I feel like I’m trying my best but my best is never going to be good enough. Maybe this is because humans have a natural instinct to want to be better or maybe I’m just surrounded my really awesome people. Either way, I need to make a positive change in my life. How though? I could wake up every morning and tell myself how awesome I am. I could find a way to make money on the side, I could start waking up a little earlier and take care of myself but something’s are easier said than done. 

This happens to people all the time. They say “from here on out I’m going to…” sometimes this works out but a lot of the time, your new outlook on life can fade away and you relapse into your old self. How do we change this? We set goals of course. This is a technique I learned in my Zumba class last semester that changed my outlook on goal setting. So here is the way to do it: Start every week with a new goal to improve yourself. For example, “This week I will not spend unnecessary money” and once you have mastered that goal, you will move on to the next. Make these goals small and obtainable and only make them one at a time. If you make several goals at a time it can feel overwhelming and that’s when you crash and burn and are back to square one. These goals can have a tendency to fade over time this is okay and natural but is no excuse to give up. When your goals do start to fade, set a similar goal but not the exact same one. If your goal was to go to the gym five times a week but you fell out of it, start with something similar but just as obtainable. Instead set the goal to go on three runs a week and do at least 2 strength workouts to pair with it. The reason I suggest to not set the same goal is because you are always changing and growing and so should your goals. You are not the same person you were five minutes ago so why would you set goals for your past self? Thinking like this will improve the way you reach your goals and will change your outlook on failing too. You are going to fail sometimes, it’s just the way life is. Sometimes you get knocked on your ass and it’s hard to get back up but, learn from where you are and figure out where you want to be. On that note; don’t wait until the new year to become a better you. The new year is just a day and there’s no reason to procrastinate being better and happier in yourself. 

I will start setting my weekly goals and I’ll even post about them on here for all of you to see! I’ll give you updates on my goals and how they are going and you can give me yours too. My goal I will be starting today is to read at least one finance book to better my understanding of money. What will your goal be? Leave a comment and we can go through this together because everyone knows we are stronger when we have a little support.

Good notes: 

This week my car finally got fixed. Yay! Now I can drive without worrying about how my husband is going to make it home from work. 

Also this week Jack, my siblings and I made homeade gingerbread houses and I made some awesome frosting to go along with them. The cats ended up licking them so we couldn’t really eat them after that but it was still super fun. Here are all of our houses lined up: 

Mine was obviously the best though 💁🏼

You could say frosting is my calling. Speaking of frosting, I also made my little brother a totally awesome birthday cake that looked like a bonfire from Dark Souls. 

This week was a great one and I’m very thankful for the life I have and the people around me. 

If you enjoyed this post please give it a like and post your comment on what goal you will be starting this week is! 

Much love – Mady

2 thoughts on “On self esteem:

  1. Queen of frosting. Seriously. It’s a beautiful magical talent/skill/gift. So glad to see you using your sweet (har har) skills for good. They are both beautiful. And the happiest of birthdays to Luke!

    My Dad used to be very very good at the life path conversation. He probably had to be with me as a daughter. There have been times, many many many times, where I just had no idea. He would tell me, the original-man-with-the-plan would say, don’t worry about it so much. Just make a choice, then the next choice, then the next one & the next one. You’ll wish you made some differently, but that’s ok. Your education will keep the doors open for you so you can decide which ones to walk through now, which ones to save for later, & which ones to walk right by. The trick is, he said, to keep your eyes open & I would add to keep your heart open. Love yourself enough to allow yourself to choose. Embrace what is there. There is always something to learn or someone to love around every turn especially if you made one of those choices you wish you’d made differently. No choice is an ending – there’s always a beginning in there somewhere. Learn in the moment, look around you & really see what is there. Breathe. You are going to go places no one could ever dream of & you’re going to do it in your own fantastically special way. Try & see. You will be fine. You will be amazing.

    And, stop cheating off your neighbors’ paper. That won’t help you. You are here to live Mady’s life, so live it. Only you can. No one knows what they are doing; no one. If it seems like they have it figured out, they don’t. How boring if they did? That would be like a book that’s already written or one color of frosting for the rest of your life – snooze! Things will change. Celebrate with your friends when they do something cool or good or even just try something but don’t compare them to you. Just keep making your choices & moving along your path, wherever it goes.

    Also. Put your big girl panties on & buckle up, buttercup. It’s gonna be a wild ride (thank God!)!!


  2. Well, the time has come at long last, when I can no longer procrastinate this with ease. I do apologize for the length of time it has taken me to put together this simple comment. You see, your words had such an impact on me and you and Marcie both spoke so eloquently that I found I needed a few additional moments to put my own thoughts together. Those few moments and many of their comrades have since perished and still I remain motionless.

    Obviously I have to ask myself why. Why does it take me 3 weeks to respond to your fearless observations? What is lurking here that so frightens me? The answer, I know, is that everything frightens me and nothing more so than my own failure to participate fully in my own life. I have adopted a mostly reactionary stance, stoically fending off the slings and arrows of fortune, with moderate success. But I’ve been told there is more to life than that and on good days I’m inclined to agree.

    So,yes, I want to join you and set some goals for myself and see if I can’t make my comfort zone a little bigger and the world a little less scary. And so the other reason it has taken me this long to reply to your call to arms. The goals have to be named now and that scares me; once I give voice to them and share them with you, I can no longer pretend that they don’t matter. My comfortable and wary existence has fallen under attack. Thanks to you. Thank you.

    My goal for this week is to eat lunch away from my desk every day. It may not sound like much but just contemplating it has me paralyzed with a fear I can’t name. According to the ancients, then, it must be the right choice for me.

    I will be kind to myself though and remind myself of the Stoic “reserve clause” which basically gives allowances for when the world heaves and makes it impossible to reach our goals despite our BEST EFFORTS. For that is when we have been successful – not when we have reached our goal but when we have given our own best effort while remaining virtuous and conscious along the way.

    ‘A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving’ – Lao Tzu.

    P.S. how was your book and what are you challenging this week?

    Liked by 1 person

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